No Spray, No Lay!: Poetry of the Looky Looky Man

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No Spray No Lay was created by friends Kat Dobell and Lara Dunning after a night out at the ballet, a few wines and a run in with a pervy DJ. Sponsored by Bare Productions it plans to hit the Edinburgh Fringe in 2024. We were invited along to the preview/preparatory run last week in Edinburgh, with almost nine months to go to Fringe there’s bound to be refinements made but for now the cast are shining in this production that really captures the chaotic fun aura of a girls’ night out. It’s clear that there is a lot of love behind this production, from the nostalgia-fueled writing to the all-female presenting cast bringing these characters to life. Ruth Harris shines as Laura’s pushover best friend Jane who begins the night too insecure to enjoy herself, but eventually lets go. Harris shows off stunning vocals and handles the audience participation aspect well, though Jane’s character arc could have used a little more nuance – currently it relies on her self-worth being fixed by having sex with a man (as hilarious and well-done as the onstage moment is it’s a little one-dimensional). The two-person ensemble might be an odd choice but works perfectly for the setting and are used effectively to support the main characters and add to the comedy. Hannah Childs is great fun as Laura, who is super-confident that everyone loves her and that she is the centre of all their worlds. Ruth Harris holds it all in, as her pal Jane – who largely seems to exist to hold Laura’s handbag. No Spray No Lay has the potential to become the ultimate girls’ musical – boppy original tunes, an array of 2000s outfits, and a display of some of the most universal yet often private aspects of the female experience. One to keep a glitter-shadowed eye on!

Quietly watching your every move, the toilet attendant knows you just hoisted those tights right up to to beneath your boobs. But hey, they aren’t there to judge. Here are the cliches of night culture. The girl who won’t listen to her bestie’s advice that she is too good for the boy she is desperately clinging on to. The girl who thinks she is too hot to handle and her frumpy pal who is along to make her look good. The sweaty ravers. And the lightweight who had too much pre-club drink and spends the night slumped in a cubicle. The second piece, Doggies by Jean McConnell, has more of the air of an extended sketch, but the twenty minutes simply flies by. Simpson directs this time, and the pacing is spot on. real comic talent Dobell and Dunning’s direction keeps the whole piece flowing, with the particularly successful placing of a set of hand basins, facing the audience where the mirror would be. The grey of the necessary cubicles is given a colourful graffiti makeover by @rango_edi and @painteranddecorator1. They are well drawn in this somewhat minimal, one hour musical, which suffers – partly as a consequence of its brevity – from not having enough of several elements. That said, the maxim of leaving the audience wanting more certainly applies here.The characters are all brought to life clearly and passionately by the cast, and all got their share of laughs from the audience. But though the vocal performances are uniformly strong, the energy of the performances doesn’t really translate to the choreography of the music, with even the numbers where the extra movement is character relevant not going as far as the other characters’ reactions seem to suggest. At 45 minutes, it is neither a sketch nor a full-length play, and its division into three short scenes does not help the flow. However, it is another cheerfully portrayed and comically satisfying piece. Invariably, you’ll find a poorly paid man who invites guests to wash their hands, provides soap and even turns the taps on and hands you paper towels.

No Hugo Boss Bottled Intense, no, please, please find me another job, please, I can't keep doing this, do I have to keep doing this, really, what have I done to deserve this, what crimes have I committed, what sins have I stumbled through unknowingly and unwittingly?" These lavatory attendants, as they are probably officially known, also offer a range of designer fragrances in the belief this may help male guests attract a mate for the night, and expect to be rewarded with a coin or two for their efforts. And they’re also supposed to make sure nobody does Class A drugs in the cubicles – unless you make friends with them in advance and offer them some. Apparently.

The Welsh setting that is an integral part of the play is somewhat inconsistently evoked, but the direction of the piece (by Simpson again) is well considered and cleverly paced. There are undoubtedly some intriguing things about the play – not least the way that the dreaded undertaker who has set his cap at Matti is a definite presence despite remaining offstage. With their array of hair products and Chupa-Chup lollies, the benevolent toilet attendant waits to give you the spray you need to get your lay.